First I want to say sorry to everyone! *I'm still watching yuu, but thanks to crappy internet and a giantic amount of deviantations I just can't look at everything, Im sooo sorry!

At the end of this journal there'll be special thanks, soo please, read the last part, only the last part. X3

Yes, for the first time I'm gonna tell yuu a bit 'bout ma life.. a little... I apologize for the drama beforehand, I just have to tell this to someone, and my mom doesn't qualify.

First off, far most of yuu thank I'm just a random happy person who loves nothing more then to have fun, congrats, yuu're right! But my life isn't all that fun.
Yuu see, I'm a very naïve person, I seriously doo like helping people. But people tent to use me, rather then just let me help them... Which has been... awful in the past.. and still is. And I hate being underestimated, soo I cause people to misunderstand when I'm trying to be nice about something I really couldn't deal with... -.-'

I have been cutting myself in the past, but stopped cuz it didn't help. Besides that I've been threatened by a former 'friend' 2 times in the last half-year. She literally said she'd push me of a mountain, and she meant it too.
I have 4 real friends I'll always trust, no matter what happens between us. But only 1 of them is in the same school, and 1 lives near... I rarely make a new friend.. I can't, I've been betrayed soo many times I have a serious problem in trusting people. I can actually get along easily with many people, but because some of those popular girlzz hate me having a life is pretty much prohibited.

Alright, that doesn't seem so bad does it? I know, seems like a very random teenage life. But then there's my family, half (my dad's half) I never get to see. I live with my mom who is for some reason convinced I should be in therapy... My whole family is totally stuck in the past, and as I try to break away from their past, they keep pulling me down, and I can't handle it! It's like being forced to choke yourself with your own hands. It's pure torture, I swear. And unlike my favorite aunt, who ran away from my family and this country after her husband died, I can't run. I have considered that too... but where can I go? If I lose what I have now, how could I possibly survive?

And then there's the most common and yet one of the most devastating of teenage drama's. Boyfriends... Yes, I'm in love, I'm soo crazily in love I'd sacrifice the rest of the world for him, if that where possible. But cuzz high school like a jungle to me... He's a véry high ranking male, and I'm a véry low ranking female... Soo.. yeah.. I would ask him out.. but I don't want to embarrass him in front of his friends... What should I do?

What keeps me going these days is mostly deviantart, and my friends here, my own drawing...

Sooo, I wan't to thank all me watchers, everyone who's ever faved a picture of mine and anyone who's ever chatted with me or anything like that. Some people have been very special to me soo... I'm gonna list them ^^
The list is random!

- Inspiring RL-friend
- Inspiring RL-friend
- one of my best DA-buddies
- Great online friend who I've known for a while.
- For simply being a very nice person.

- For simply being a very nice person.
- Special thank to this person, for inspiring me in a way noone alse could have done.
- The one who really got me going.
- She's been great help for me^^
- She's been great help for me^^
- Simply being a nice person.
-simply being a nice person
- Simply being a nice person

And many many other people who's ID's I can't find at the moment -_-'